Submerged in the decade of transitions and decisions,
summer break to another fall semester
university years to a career
singlehood to a marriage,
I find myself in one of my moods.
It isn't my Blah Mood:
Characterized by its ability to strip away my foundation of motivation and leave me sitting useless like a bump on a log.
It isn't my Soul Sista Mood:
In which I blast Beyonce throughout the house and belt at the top of my lungs because no one is home and its just plain invigorating.
It isn't my Sunday Mood:
When I find myself once again standing before the bigger picture which always seems to transform my stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
And it isn't my Merrr Mood:
When the flow of trafficking thoughts in my head collide in a terrible and indiscernible traffic jam, calmed only by prayer, stroking the keys of my piano and a late night "ventilation session".
No my friends, it seems to me that I am the Columbus of a brand new mood, which I see fit to name, my Fuzzy Mood, symptoms include:
- Hope in a glorious future
- A mild fetish with To-Do lists and goal setting
- An inability to articulate my thoughts (perhaps a branch off of my Merrr Mood)
- Discontentment with more first dates
- An overall thirst for change
It's not a bad mood, I am grateful that it lacks the "bump on a log"-ness of my Blah Mood. I am driven forward by my personal goals, I am excited for the future. Yet, like doing a puzzle, I feel that a piece is missing somewhere. I know that Heavenly Father is holding that piece and will place it in designated empty space when He knows I'm ready for it. I'm grateful for my relationship with Him that allows me patience and trust in His plan.
For now, I am neither here nor there,
I'm just passing time in self-improvement
Somewhere in between
...fuzzy in the middle.