That Pretty Much Sums It Up For Me

Good heavens, friends! Are you feeling abandoned? I'd be surprised if you weren't. Sometimes I even feel like I've abandoned myself...

...if that makes sense.

My "new life" is almost unbearably busy. Almost. Being here with you, even just for these few minutes, makes me realize how much I miss writing. It's my sanity. I kind of need it...but, in all honesty, I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can really hope for right now.

Nearly every single thing about my life is soooo different than it ever has been before and it's taking me some time to adjust. Especially because I don't feel like I've even had a split second to think about the idea of even moving a millimeter toward the possibility of maybe trying to think about everything that's been going on.

PHEW!

All I can say is, thank heavens for the constant things in my life! If it weren't for them, I think I'd hardly recognize my life anymore. But no, it's still there, still mine. Heavenly Father's still smiling down on me as I push forward. He's still guiding my path, sending His angels, and bestowing His beautiful blessings. In short, He still loves me and allows me to see small glimpses of His love each day, which reminds me to breathe and not furrow my brow in seriousness, but to smile in joyousness.

Life...

...however hard to recognize at times,

...however synonymous to a sardine can it may seem,

...however much stretching and bending it may require,

...is Beautiful.

I am forever grateful for our Heavenly Father's willingness and ability to take the drab, ordinary, and often downright ugly things that seem to cloud our vision and lovingly shape them into His beautiful masterpieces. All because He wants us to be happy.

I am happy.

The Difference Between Mystery Meat & Spiders

Today I sat. And I thought. Unfortunately, that's something I think we miss out on a lot in this busy country of ours. We have gadgets that do our thinking for us while we run around eating microwaved meals and multitasking like it's an olympic event.

Anyway, tangent. The point is I slowed down...for like 5 minutes, but it was a priceless 5 minutes nonetheless. I pondered about my life...again. Trust me, there's a lot to think about. My future for one. It's so exciting and yet SO mysterious at the same time. I mean, sometime's mysterious is intreguing like Carmen San Diego and...other times mysterious things just plain freak me out. Like, the "mystery meat" in the school cafeteria. Eh? Like I said, scary ;)

Ya know what though? Aside from not having a really super cool graphic designer job...yet, I'm REALLY excited about my near future. I've lived long enough to realize that change does NOTHING but stretch me and make me stronger...IF I let it. And why wouldn't I? I mean, it'd be silly not to.

Oh, Life. It'll be interesting living on my own for the first time ever, owning a car, graduating from college, having a career, a brand new ward, running a marathon, etc. My my, that's a lot of changes! In fact, I'm pretty sure Mr. Change didn't leave anything out...OH wait. That's right. I'm still single. Ah-hem! ...I figure that's next on his to do list ;)

Anyway, I don't know where I was going with this. I think mostly I just needed to let my brain get rid of all those words up there, clear out the congestion, more room to breathe and think about the here and now...

AAAAAAGGGHHH!!! Like the nasty spider I just noticed out of the corner of my eye, stealthily scuttling his horendous little way up my pillow. Ew. Ew. I kid you not, this guy's got some LEEEEGS on 'im!!! EW!!! Bbbbhuhuhgggraahhh! *shudder* NASTAAAY!!

"Um, Daaaaaaaad?!" ;)

...annnnnnnd,
then again...

some things never change.

Beware the Dessert Cart (not a PPP post)

Confession:

I'd MUCH rather have one GREAT option and one HORRIBLE option to choose from than a lot of good little options to decipher between.

Does that make sense?

I'm much better at seeing the difference between black and white than I am at seeing the difference between grey and charcoal and light grey and the color of concrete, etc.

See what I'm saying?

It's like, someone brings out a dessert tray with a piece of raspberry cheesecake, a hot fudge sundae brownie, a piece of funfetti cake, and some sort of decadent pie that you also happen to be in love with.

Do you base this decision off of what you're in the mood for? Biggest piece? Calories? What?

They're all equally as delicious (to me anyway)

And how long beforehand do you make this decision? Like did you go to this particular restaurant JUST for their desserts? Did you just glance at the menu as you were seated? Or did you think to yourself, "I'm so used to being SO full that I rarely even consider dessert"?

That's me. Family, school (namely graduation), calling, internship, work, personal goals (fitness & spiritual). Full! Like, I can't even remember the last time I considered getting "dessert". I've always just been too full...

So, now this feast of 18 years is about to come to an end and suddenly there's the dessert cart looming in the distance...full of so many great options and I'm thinking, "AGGGGHHHH!" cause I'm pretty sure that this is one of the hardest decisions that's ever come to the table.

No, contrary to my strange choice of examples, this isn't about food. It's about my life! Like, the determining factor of where I'll be and who I'll meet and what I'll learn, etc.

Unfortunately this isn't just one of those Girls Nights Out where I usually pawn off my lack-of-decision-making-capabilities on someone who is more opinionated when questions comes up like: "Who wants to drive?" "Where should we eat?" "What should we watch?"

Nope, this is me.

Just me.

Lindsay time.

Me, myself and I.

You can call me melodramatic or crazy or worrisome or whatever (though doing so wouldn't help me out much, because frankly, I already know these things), but my goodness, I'd like to FINALLY have a response besides,

"ErrmmmIdunno..." to the perpetual question,

"What are your plans after you graduate?"

*sigh*

Who knew freedom would be so much work? C'mon, I know that a lot of you have been in this same place recently, if not currently. Any personal stories or post-graduation-tips-for-dummies are welcome.

...annnnd scene.

Lindsay's Life Lessons - Part III

31. Avoid watching shows like "I Shouldn't Be Alive" or "Your Worst Animal Nightmares" right before retiring to bed.

32. Drink straws and their wrappers make restaurant waiting enjoyable.

33. If you want to annoy people in a hurry, make that clicking, scratchy, snorting sound in your throat over and over and over...

34. Cleaning your room is either a great pain in the neck or an exhilarating treasure hunt of discovery.

35. People tend to ignore you when you're dressed like a hobo.

36. Listening to classical music while driving decreases offensive driving and road rage...unless you're listening to "Flight of the Bumblebee."

37. Costco's churros will change your life...and the way your pants fit, but it's usually worth it.

38. If your friends are playing an intense game of ping pong and one of them happens to be wearing a slippery pair of gloves...leave the room quickly and consider how good-looking your chin is without a big gash in it.

39. There is something very therapeutic about buying brand new school supplies.

40. Always keep a warm blanket in your car...especially if you live in Utah.

41. European travel is the significantly beneficial and delightfully concentrated version of history class.

42. Every man should own, and wear often, a baseball t-shirt.

I couldn't think of 3 more, so we're ending on 42 today.

For previous Life Lessons

CLICK ME!

Struggling with Juggling

Thank goodness Friday has finally come!

Yesterday was my long day at school, namely 7a-9p.

And the semester finally decided to do that one thing where you're sitting there all calm and nonchalant and it sneakily adds about a BAZILLION more tasks to your to do list without you noticing until your teacher says, "Well, you've certainly got your work cut out for you," and suddenly you're staring up at a tower of to do's as high as the moon and you think, "OH! That's what they mean by 'reach for the stars'...

Yep! This semester just turned into exactly what I was expecting of my final semester of college...whatever the opposite of 'a walk in the park' is.

A sprint through the desert?

There. Now that I've succeeded at being melodramatic I will attempt something inspirational for all of you who are struggling with juggling, too.

Ah-hem...

1 - Take a DEEP, cleansing breath

2 - Thank Heavenly Father for these opportunities to grow and ask for His help. Then, read THIS.

3 - Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I can SO do this!"

4 - Do some jumping jacks in place and take a jab or two at an invisable opponent. Why? Cause it's fun and that's what they do in all the sports movies before they do something really hard.

5 - Ready? Take one step toward your goal

6 - GOOD JOB! Now take another step toward your goal

7 - Keep breathing, laughing, and enjoying every moment. Someday you'll look back on these experiences and go, "Wow! That really changed my life. I really wish I had enjoyed it more."

8 - Whistle while you work. Remember how happy Snow White was when she was cleaning that nasty little cottage? It's cause she made it an enjoyable experience by dancing, singing and laughing.

9 - Keep taking small steps and small victories until you've reached your goal.

10 - Celebrate! PARTAAAY! You've most definitely earned it.

11 - Now get ready to learn something else exciting, new and fabulous about yourself, because the next journey is about to begin

12 - Start back at 1

It's Life.

...and by now I hope you know how I feel about Life.

(see blog header)

;)

Time For Feeling

Today was one of "those" days. I'm using past tense like it's already over cause it makes me feel better. You know "those" days, right?

The ones where you are SO frustrated that you nearly cry whenever you try to talk.

The ones where your teacher misuses their stubborn power to make you late for your internship...the one that THEY are enforcing.

One of those days where you listen to hymns on your iPod to keep you from snapping innocent people in half when they merely attempt to interact with you.

One of those days when you simply chant, "We're all children of God. We're all children of God. We're all children of God..." to keep your ears from blowing steam.

Ok, ok. Ventilation terminated.

Crazy busy + BIG changes + BIG decisions - Sleep = Moody Me

So. What now?

As I see it, I have TWO decisions:

1) Continue to be moody, crabby, and miserable for matters beyond my control. Snap at people, take a nap to smother out my responsibilities and emotions, listen to sad music, and potentially spread my lame unhappiness to all those I come in contact with...

OR

2) Breathe in. Breath out. Give myself a pat on the back for doing my very best. Change that misery to happiness right this instant and share it with those who are rooting for my success. Listen to happy music, dip strawberries in chocolate, give people hugs, smile and keep working hard...

Because frankly, Life has this strange tendency to keep happening whether I'm ecstatic or completely peeved. So...I can either sit and stew and watch Life pass me by or I can GO AND DO and cherish the things that are going right. Those things that Heavenly Father has, in perfect love, placed in my path as His way of saying,

"I know you are doing your best. Here is something wonderful to make today easier for you, because I love you perfectly and desire your happiness."

It makes my heart hurt to think of the times that He's reached out and I've huffed right by in my childish crossness, completely oblivious to His tender mercies and love. My goodness! WHY? "I'm only human" has never seemed like a more inadequate excuse. And the only "I'm sorry" that will cut it, is the kind that requires my feet to move, my hands to serve, my heart to soften and my soul to sing praises of gratitude to all that He has done for me.

So. What now?

I check this day off as another lesson learned in a moment of weakness and frustration and I try a little harder to be a little better. Starting NOW.

Because today the sun shone on my face. And today Trax didn't break down on the way to my internship. And today my friend texted me a hilarious picture when I was about to burst into tears of frustration. And today Dad gave me his extra sandwich for lunch and offered to drive me to BestBuy to buy a new pedometer (thanks for the tip-off, Lindsey!).

See! Today isn't so bad after all.

Heavenly Father is in the details

Today and every day.

Stop and feel His love.

You know?
All those beautiful things

Surrounding you like a hug.

Lindsay's Life Lessons - Part II

21. New bed sheets: Wash before sleeping on/rubbing face in.

22. Make your life easier - learn Spanish.

23. If you want to see a miracle, take a human anatomy class. If you want to see two miracles, pass it.
24. No bath is a success without neck pillow, bubbles, scented candles and chick flick.

25. If you want to show someone your soul...sing them a song.

26. Who invented New Years resolutions? The same person that realized it is impossible to diet during the holidays and be completely happy.

27. Deodorant: The quickest way to shower in college ;)

28. Some of the most attractive men on the planet take on the disguise of "nerd."

29. The key to understanding is communication, not assumption. If you must assume, assume the best.

30. Folks are simply hotter who have read the books of Potter.

To be continued...

Lessons 1-20

Jumping Into Rivers

Is it just me or have I not written on here in a while...? Well that's probably because STILL, after 22 and a bit years of life, I have not mastered how to turn the things in my head into the things on paper that you read...you know? Words and such.

See!

Case in point.

My head is spinning with busyness. I don't think I'll be bored for one second during the Christmas break. It seems like I have so much to do. So much I want to do and so much I NEED to do. The brand new year of 2011 will not be without goal setting, that's for sure. There are plenty of stars in the sky that I still haven't reached for... Hoooo boy.

In short, Heavenly Father decided to raise the bar for me...again. I guess I was getting used to jumping that one height for too long...and this time a trampoline isn't going to cut it. Nope, no short cuts. Gotta start jumping to see what new heights I can reach.

This might not make any sense...what can I say? I like to rant ambiguously sometimes...or most of the time. All I can say is, Life without adventures is like a boring little pond that could be a raging river...if it would just move.

As Pocahontas says, "What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice. The water's always changing, always flowing..."

So I ask Life, "What's around the river bend?"

And Life answers, "Hop in your canoe and I'll show ya!"

Hooo boy, friends. Here we go!

Lindsay's Life Lessons - Part I

1. Never eat something now that was boiling in the microwave just seconds ago.
2. Avoid public transportation at night.
3. Exercise fixes nearly everything.
4. If exercise doesn't fix it, shopping will.
5. Children's storybooks with minimal words usually fail as full-length movies.
6. If you wouldn't say it in person, for heaven's sake, don't text it.
7. There's nothing quite so nauseating and mysterious as finding a hair ball in the middle of your muddy buddy (true story).
8. "He's single, you're single" is not a good enough reason to set someone up on a blind date.
9. If you're discouraged, reading the news won't help.
10. The best kind of ballroom is the kitchen.
11. Happiness doesn't require money, just creativity.
12. Sunglasses: The power to stare in secret.
13. Recognizing someone from your first grade class after 17 years tends to freak them out.
14. School is much easier when you love what you're studying.
15. You know the world is corrupt when animated movies are rated R.
16. Hats: The easiest way to not do your hair.
17. The toilet is not a garbage disposal.
18. If you want to know the true character of someone, observe their behavior at the gym.
19. There is nothing quite so fulfilling as creating something out of nothing.
20. Relying solely on technology to run your life is completely unhealthy.

To be continued...

Wanted: Patience

I have many life mottos, some of which I've discovered over a long time and some that have been with me since day one. One of these I'd like to share with you today:

Lindsay's Life Motto #6ish:

"You can walk along the path as far as you'd like, but if you're not looking forward to something in the distance, you are just, simply, walking on a path."

That is to say, I tend to go through life rather aimlessly without something in the distance to look forward to, be it reaching a goal or some other sort of happiness and accomplishment. That's how I live my life and without it, what am I really here for? My purpose is to continually look forward and move forward.

Thus, I am getting SO excited for the upcoming destinations along the path. Some are goal achievements, some are motivated by an abundance of family time, some provide me with great strength on my journey and some are just plain, let your hair down F-U-N!

For instance, I can HARDLY wait...

...till I can hold my newest nephew, #25!

...to be in Orlando next month with Dad & Madre,

Experience The Wonderful World of Harry Potter

And go trick-or-treating at Disney World!!!

...till my hair grows REALLY long and luscious.

(Then, knowing me, I'll probably chop it again)

...for the epic Murder Mystery family date night I'm hosting in October.

...till it snows. Yeah, I know! *GASP*

But I was watching Gilmore Girls the other day

And Lorelai was walking in the snow with Max (should've been Luke)

And it was just so beautiful and romantic...

I just couldn't help but crave it. Sorry.

...to graduate from college as a graphic designer!

Whoop! Whoop!

...for Thanksgiving this year.

It's our "on year" with my siblings and their cute little families!

...to wear eye shadow again. I've been without for 2 months.

My lids are currently healing from an allergic reaction to my hair conditioner.

Yes, it's true. So, I've stopped using it. Now I wait.

...to go with my family to the Ringling Bros. Circus on Thursday!

...to watch the season premier of Biggest Loser that I recorded last night.

...for the lovely Christmas Holiday and all of the joy to the world that comes with it!

...to hit the field house tomorrow.

Thursdays are my best day for workouts.

...to turn 23 in November! Weird!

...to meet my future family.

I have a feeling I'm going to love them a lot.

...for Halloween! Dressing up, carving pumpkins, candy! BAH!

...to go to bed tonight

...hopefully earlier than I have been lately.

...for the leaves to change colors! Oh my heart!

...for October 2nd-3rd! GENERAL CONFERENCE!

It always seems to come at the the perfect time.

...for 12p. It's when I get off work. Nuff said.

Beauty

“The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it. Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life.”

~Frank Lloyd Wright~

Head First

Picture me writing this on a big chalk board in a lab coat with hair like Mr. Einstein and a crazed look on my face, like I’ve been awake for way too long…

TOTAL HOURS IN 1 WEEK: 168

Subract Sunday = 144 hours

Subtract Ideal Sleep Schedule (42 hours) = 102 workable hours per week

Monday: 10 hours on campus

Tuesday: 9.5 hours on campus

Wednesday: 13.5 hours on campus

Thursday: 8 hours on campus

Friday: 5 hours on campus

TOTAL HOURS SPENT ON CAMPUS: 46 (including work)

Add hours required for homework/study: 26+

TOTAL HOURS SPENT ON SCHOOL: 72 out of 102 available

Hours remaining for extracurricular/personal activity: 30 hours

The interesting thing about this WHOLE equation is that school isn't even my first priority.

What about my family, my ward responsibilities, my friends...uh, my LIFE period!?

Today when I went to my 4 hour Letterpress class and heard the workload of at least 8 hours outside of class, I nearly cried. I have never been so busy...and perhaps that's pathetic to the majority of the world, but to each his own. My own says, "Whoa, Nelly!"

Thankfully, I have never had more confidence that I can conquer this semester...not by myself of course, but with Heavenly Father's help. In Him ALL things are possible, IF you get your priorities in order. Now, my priorities might be completely unbalanced right now, but Heavenly Father knows how hard I'm trying, which, I'm happy to admit, is 10x harder than I've ever tried in my life. I want to be my very best and He gives me strength in so many aspects of my life. I couldn't make it through even a single day without His compassion and blessings, without the strength of the spirit through the instruction and examples of the scriptures, and through my persistent pleadings in prayer.

It's going to be hard, but OH the things I will learn.

And you know what's cool about learning hard things?

Those lessons strengthen your foundation for the rest of your life.