Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Warm, Wrong, Wishing & Washing

I hope never again (not that I ever have hoped this) to have a dream where
giant arachnids invade my bedroom
and lay massive egg sacks
in the nooks and crannies of my closet that,
when poked, gush fountains
of creepy, crawly, tiny, little, pinching, biting, scuttling
spider babies that overtake me
and crawl up my pants,
and make me run around screaming bloody murder
and writhing in a riotous frenzy.


We're talking basketball-sized spider moms, guys.
Not cool.
BAH (shudder)!

If you're a dream interpreter,
I don't want to know what this one means,

Have you noticed how everyone is happier when it's warm outside.

Now, I've never met someone from Antarctica,
but I can only imagine that,
for the most part,
they're cranky on a regular basis.
Correct me if I'm wrong.

Hawaiians on the other hand...
Most hospitable people on the planet.

Do you see my point?

Every time I make a wish,
Be it on a shooting star,
tossing a coin in a fountain,
blowing out candles,
I always absent-mindedly start it by saying,

"Please bless..."

I guess it just goes to show where wishes truly come from.

Some of the most hilarious occurrences in the world
Happen when people sing the wrong lyrics to songs.

Please tell me you agree.

i.e. (my favorites):

"When upon life's pillows you are tempest tossed..."
LDS Hymn - "Count Your Blessings"

"I blow bubbles when you are not near..."
Macy Gray - "I Try"

"Swing, swing from the tables o-of my heart..."
All-American Rejects - "Swing, Swing"

Is it just me or is it impossible to get everything done in a day
And get 8 hours of sleep as a college student...

This morning Madre was making a lot of calls and leaving a lot of messages,
I guess she was just getting into the flow of it, because at the end of one message she said,

"...Thanks! Hope you guys are having a great day. In the name of... I mean? Bye."

I laughed pretty hard about that one.
I love Madre! I just had to share.

From kindergarten to my senior year of high school
I was morally opposed to sloughing/playing hooky/ditching class,
Whatever you wanna call it.

The one time I did in high school,
My friends and I went to a park,
And it rained.
A sign I think.

It was fun, but I still feel guilty about it to this day.

However, now that I'm in college,
I've found that it's almost impossible not to skip a class every once in a while.

It's amazing the amount of things you can get done when you're not sitting on your behind in front of a computer for 3 hours, listening to your professor yack his merry way through his life history. Right? Right.

I'm a people-watcher.
I know I've confessed this to you before.
So, want to know the most entertaining place for people-watching?

The gym.

If you don't believe me, next time you go observe the following:
-The 'check me out' expressions on the faces of the guys lifting weights
-The many different ways to use an elliptical
-The competitive face people give when they pass each other on the track
-The limber girls that sit doing splits on the mat for 15 minutes, just to make sure that everybody has the opportunity to see how bendy they are
-Peoples faces when they're pushing themselves really hard

Now that's not to say I'm not guilty of a few (very few) of these gym-mannerisms,
But wow, we the people of the world are pretty darn entertaining when we try to "act natural." Yes sir, we're all guilty of being oxymorons every once in a while.

Indoor plumbing was developed in the late 19th century,

So you'd think, because it's been around so long,
that people would have a grasp on how to use it,


I swear, if there was a poll on this subject, the majority of people
(especially on college campuses) would answer,

"I don't flush. I don't wash my hands. Ever."


I'm sure they're great people and all, but...


15 seconds people. 15!

There's just something about seeing everyone wearing green on the same day that warms my heart. I think it's the thought of "unity" in a world of people always trying to prove that they're "different" from one another, when in reality, we're all very much the same.

Smile at strangers,
Cause since when is
Smiling strange?

The End.


TheCoys said...

I love your posts because they are so honest and so you. Love you Linds

Sarah Hatch said...

This was a fun post for me to read. I too loved seeing everyone in green yesterday, probably mostly just cuz it's a favorite color. :)
And I have a funny story about wrong lyrics. So my husband gets lyrics wrong ALL the time but one time back when he worked construction the guys were listening to country and the song "Save a Horse ride a Cowboy" came on. Brent started singing along loudly, "Say Lahoy ride em cowboy!" He got made fun of pretty bad for that one (he really thought those were the words)

Chess said...

And I thought I was the only one who thrived on people-watching at the gym! :)

lovinlife said...

What a funny post. I wish I could have heard Mom say that. People not washing their hands totally grosses me out, too. :)

Also, Sarah's comment made me laugh SO hard. "Say Lahoy ride em Cowboy" SO FUNNY!

p.s. Sid FEELIX! What does that remind you of, Linds?

tscotriverside said...

ahh, the randomosity returns...

these are by far some of my favorite of all of your posts. some of them are things that we all think about, especially the 15 seconds part. Just be happy that you don't have to see the men's bathroom. i would say there are easily more girls that wash their hands than guys.

other things, are ones that never even cross my mind. i've never noticed the expressions on guys' faces when they are lifting but that's probably because i'm distracted checking out my uncommonly large biceps.

you really do have some of the strangest dreams...if someone is a dream interpreter, they're welcome to explain that one to me...

i'll anxiously await part VI...