Warm, Wrong, Wishing & Washing

I hope never again (not that I ever have hoped this) to have a dream where

giant arachnids invade my bedroom

and lay massive egg sacks

in the nooks and crannies of my closet that,

when poked, gush fountains

of creepy, crawly, tiny, little, pinching, biting, scuttling

spider babies that overtake me

and crawl up my pants,

and make me run around screaming bloody murder

and writhing in a riotous frenzy.

phew

We're talking basketball-sized spider moms, guys.

Not cool.

BAH (shudder)!

If you're a dream interpreter,

I don't want to know what this one means,

Thanks.

Have you noticed how everyone is happier when it's warm outside.

Now, I've never met someone from Antarctica,

but I can only imagine that,

for the most part,

they're cranky on a regular basis.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Hawaiians on the other hand...

Most hospitable people on the planet.

Do you see my point?

Every time I make a wish,

Be it on a shooting star,

11:11,

tossing a coin in a fountain,

blowing out candles,

etc.

I always absent-mindedly start it by saying,

"Please bless..."

I guess it just goes to show where wishes truly come from.

Some of the most hilarious occurrences in the world

Happen when people sing the wrong lyrics to songs.

Please tell me you agree.

i.e. (my favorites):

"When upon life's pillows you are tempest tossed..."

LDS Hymn - "Count Your Blessings"

"I blow bubbles when you are not near..."

Macy Gray - "I Try"

"Swing, swing from the tables o-of my heart..."

All-American Rejects - "Swing, Swing"

Is it just me or is it impossible to get everything done in a day

And get 8 hours of sleep as a college student...

This morning Madre was making a lot of calls and leaving a lot of messages,

I guess she was just getting into the flow of it, because at the end of one message she said,

"...Thanks! Hope you guys are having a great day. In the name of... I mean? Bye."

I laughed pretty hard about that one.

I love Madre! I just had to share.

From kindergarten to my senior year of high school

I was morally opposed to sloughing/playing hooky/ditching class,

Whatever you wanna call it.

The one time I did in high school,

My friends and I went to a park,

And it rained.

A sign I think.

It was fun, but I still feel guilty about it to this day.

However, now that I'm in college,

I've found that it's almost impossible not to skip a class every once in a while.

It's amazing the amount of things you can get done when you're not sitting on your behind in front of a computer for 3 hours, listening to your professor yack his merry way through his life history. Right? Right.

I'm a people-watcher.

I know I've confessed this to you before.

So, want to know the most entertaining place for people-watching?

The gym.

If you don't believe me, next time you go observe the following:

-The 'check me out' expressions on the faces of the guys lifting weights

-The many different ways to use an elliptical

-The competitive face people give when they pass each other on the track

-The limber girls that sit doing splits on the mat for 15 minutes, just to make sure that everybody has the opportunity to see how bendy they are

-Peoples faces when they're pushing themselves really hard

Now that's not to say I'm not guilty of a few (very few) of these gym-mannerisms,

But wow, we the people of the world are pretty darn entertaining when we try to "act natural." Yes sir, we're all guilty of being oxymorons every once in a while.

Indoor plumbing was developed in the late 19th century,

Right?

So you'd think, because it's been around so long,

that people would have a grasp on how to use it,

Right?

False.

I swear, if there was a poll on this subject, the majority of people

(especially on college campuses) would answer,

"I don't flush. I don't wash my hands. Ever."

ew.

I'm sure they're great people and all, but...

ew.

15 seconds people. 15!

There's just something about seeing everyone wearing green on the same day that warms my heart. I think it's the thought of "unity" in a world of people always trying to prove that they're "different" from one another, when in reality, we're all very much the same.

Smile at strangers,

Cause since when is

Smiling strange?

The End.