I feel like I've abandoned the poor blog lately, but in all honesty my mind is full of nothing but school and the endless responsibilities of a college senior...aka BOR-ING! So, I guess I could've just not written anything at all...but...
...it's too late now :)
P.S. Madre and Dad reminded me this morning that it’s ok that school be my first priority. I’m planning for my future life, whatever it may be, and that’s pretty darn important. I feel much better knowing that.
P.P.S. I’m going to the Utah Shakespearean Festival for the weekend to see “Pride & Prejudice” and “Much Ado About Nothing.” Wahoo! Good thing I can do homework in the car, huh?
Hope you’re having a fabulous day!
Picture me writing this on a big chalk board in a lab coat with hair like Mr. Einstein and a crazed look on my face, like I’ve been awake for way too long…
TOTAL HOURS IN 1 WEEK: 168
Subract Sunday = 144 hours
Subtract Ideal Sleep Schedule (42 hours) = 102 workable hours per week
Monday: 10 hours on campus
Tuesday: 9.5 hours on campus
Wednesday: 13.5 hours on campus
Thursday: 8 hours on campus
Friday: 5 hours on campus
TOTAL HOURS SPENT ON CAMPUS: 46 (including work)
Add hours required for homework/study: 26+
TOTAL HOURS SPENT ON SCHOOL: 72 out of 102 available
Hours remaining for extracurricular/personal activity: 30 hours
The interesting thing about this WHOLE equation is that school isn't even my first priority.
What about my family, my ward responsibilities, my friends...uh, my LIFE period!?
Today when I went to my 4 hour Letterpress class and heard the workload of at least 8 hours outside of class, I nearly cried. I have never been so busy...and perhaps that's pathetic to the majority of the world, but to each his own. My own says, "Whoa, Nelly!"
Thankfully, I have never had more confidence that I can conquer this semester...not by myself of course, but with Heavenly Father's help. In Him ALL things are possible, IF you get your priorities in order. Now, my priorities might be completely unbalanced right now, but Heavenly Father knows how hard I'm trying, which, I'm happy to admit, is 10x harder than I've ever tried in my life. I want to be my very best and He gives me strength in so many aspects of my life. I couldn't make it through even a single day without His compassion and blessings, without the strength of the spirit through the instruction and examples of the scriptures, and through my persistent pleadings in prayer.
It's going to be hard, but OH the things I will learn.
And you know what's cool about learning hard things?
Those lessons strengthen your foundation for the rest of your life.
First day of first grade. First day of last grade.
In my family prayers growing up, we always prayed for three specific things:
That we'd go on missions,
Get married in the temple,
And get a college education.
1 Down.
2 To Go.
You’ve sure come a long way, little me.
I feel kind of weird,
Like there's probably something wrong with me,
Because I'm abnormally excited for school tomorrow.
AH! To learn. To work. To meet new people. To have a schedule full of awesomeness!
Consider the cobwebs and sorrow cleared away
Cause all I'm doin' right now is thinkin' about toooooomorrrrooooowwww!
Cue: Annie!
Happy New Week, to y'all!
I apologize if you're getting sick of me talking ambiguously about my Life lately, but really, if you think about it...this is MY blog. What else would I write about?
You know what Life has taught me lately?
1) That Heavenly Father is mindful of me, especially through the hard times.
B) That Heavenly Father has a friendly sense of humor. Oh yes!
iii) That when I keep a positive outlook despite the twists in the road, Heavenly Father blesses me with... well... exactly what I need, even if it's far from what I thought I needed.
He knows what I need and what will make me happiest. He is the author of the greatest kind of happiness. Perfect happiness. So, yes, I will give my all to him.
Isn't it funny how things have a way of working themselves out? Well no, things don't just "work themselves out" truly. Heavenly Father works them out, when we are doing our best. Yes, there are those moments when my little shoulder devil demands, "Me! Me! Me!" But OH how beautiful when he doesn't get his way and something far greater comes along, bringing with it even a moment of simple, inexpressible happiness.
To be unambiguous, so as not to drive you insane, my Life has been full of the ups and downs of dating, a new and daunting calling in my ward, the endless monotony of summer, the anticipation of beginning my senior year, etc. etc. Oh yes! The ride has been exceedingly bumpy lately.
But, you know what? Now, more than ever before, I know that Heavenly Father is looking out for me. Those blessings he gives me, even the ones disguised as trials, are for my personal growth and strength. How I let them change me, for better or worse, is 100% up to me. Gratefully, I have been blessed with a knowledge of The Way = our Savior, Jesus Christ. As my dear bishop says, "Every other way, any other way is madness."
So if, like the Lindsay of the the past two weeks, you find yourself stuck or lost or lacking spiritual or emotional strength, I would refer you to prayer and my favorite book = Every answer you need, especially the ones you may not know you need, are accessible to you through prayer and the scriptures.
Life really is beautiful
And we are so blessed!
The day was rosy, the sun shone bright
The princess frolicked with delight
Her dreams, it seemed, had at last come true
She basked, like a cloud in the sky of blue
But all too soon a dragon came
Her happiness he sought to claim
She whimpered from her palace perch
And in her heart, began a search
For the deeper strength somewhere inside
Her cowering cowardice to subside
. . .
to be continued
Have you been to this website yet?
Wow, it’s addicting. There's your warning!
Look at all the outfits I made in the past hour J
I’ve decided that when I get to my goal weight and finally get to buy new pants (it's my strange motivation) I’m going to play on this website and really get an idea for what kind of outfits I want to look for. Now, granted, most of the items on Polyvore are way outside of my price range, but I’m confident that my acute bargain shopping capabilities will work to my benefit in finding “similar” items. I guess we'll see, won't we?
BTW, I'm well on my way to reaching my weight goal and it feels SO good.
Ok, yes, I am crazy, but I think I would really like the job of dressing the mannequins at a department store J
Oh-ho, the twists and turns of Life.
Amazing how so many things can change in just one week’s time, isn’t it?
I wish I could say more than that, but as of now I’m sworn to secrecy.
Blessedly, Heavenly Father has given me some very happy twists to counter the upcoming crazy turns! Wow, Life! You've outdone yourself this time!
Wish me luck!
It’s a miracle!!!
Read THIS and you’ll see what I mean.
So, I’ve been doing some SERIOUS cleaning in my bedroom. Like, welcome to Day 2 kind of serious. Thankfully, it’s been fairly entertaining going through old school papers and projects, finding old notes and drawings, etc.
I even found my old American Girls Premier CD-ROM! It lets you make plays using your favorite American Girl characters. I think it’s safe to say that this game took up a good percentage of my and my friends' childhood.
Anyway, so I also happened to find my old pink RAZR. I’ve been using my brother’s old grey one since the tragic death of mine, but I decided it wouldn’t hurt to put a battery in it and see what would happen.
So I did.
And it works.
YAY!!
Ok, now you’re probably all thinking, “Big whoop! It’s a RAZR. Get an iPhone.” If so, it’s ok, you just don’t understand one of my mottos. Ah-hem:
“If it’s working and it does what you need it to do, why get a new one?”
Yep, that’s me. Call me crazy, but I just use my phone for calling and texting. I’m already at the computer 24/7, I don’t need my phone to do that, too. Plus, I think it's cuter than an iPhone. Sorry, Apple, you'll have to convert me later. Or sooner...I mean, I got my RAZR in April of 2007. It's bound to die sometime soon (knock on wood).
Anyway, YAY for old cellphones that still work despite...well...certain mishaps!
Peace out.
I think I could sit and just think about stuff for hours on end. Know how I know? Cause that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 15 minutes, sitting in a recliner, looking at the ceiling, and just plain thinking...and I'm far from done.
I have a lot on my mind:
School, family, career, productivity, money, church, time, health, boys, clothes, patience...the list goes on and on and on and on...
...and on.
It’s the kind of thinking that, when you do it all at once, doesn’t get you anywhere. It’s like a traffic jam in my head…my train of thoughts just careened off an overpass onto a highway at rush hour.
Messy, that’s what that is.
Man, life is hard.
Allow me to be a pessimist for a moment and say this:
You spend your whole life reaching for goals, failing, reaching higher and eventually accomplishing, right? But then, what’s next? You can either sit like a bump on a log pretending to be satisfied with what you’ve won or you can reach up again for something even higher than what you have.
That’s all fine and dandy, but WHOA! When do we get to stop reaching? It gets kind of exhausting. I guess it's the initial thrill of accomplishing that keeps us going, but are we ever fully satisfied with just another rung on the ladder? No. And, hooray for us, that's so good. Why settle for mediocre when your potential is FAR from mediocre.
If you think about it, what you do with your life is 100% up to you. That’s a lot of pressure! In fact, it’s downright overwhelming most of the time. Having a boatload of options doesn’t help either, let me tell you. With great blessings come great responsibilities.
Unfortunately, I’m the kind of person that LOVES knowing what’s next. I love being scheduled and organized and knowing what is expected of me. Just ask my friends, I don’t do well with spontaneity in large portions. I wish I was more spontaneous, I mean, I can be if I really work at it, but it hasn't gotten to the point where it's pulled up a chair and made itself comfortable inside of me.
I don't EVEN know if this is making ANY sense. Wow! I'm just...blah. This must be what limbo feels like. Where am I? What in the world is going on in my life? Well, I'll tell you:
I've been living in the same bedroom in the same house in the same city in the same state in the same country for my WHOLE 22 years of existence.
I've been going to the same school, working at the same job and attending the same ward for 4 years straight.
That's where BLAH comes in.
There's this part of me that says, "What happened to all of your "big" plans for yourself back in high school?" Well self, apparently Heavenly Father has something else in mind for my life, and, ya know, the most anchored, trusting and awesome part of my soul completely agrees with Him ...but right now, the flakey, stupid and irresponsible portion of me says, "What's so wrong with MY plan anyway?"
*sigh*
I just feel like someone was tampering with my life remote and pushed the button marked "Slow Motion" and suddenly my life sounds like an old scratched record playing a sad country ballad about a dying horse. Beat-less and boring.
Wow, I've really accomplished the happy, inspirational post I was looking for, haven't I?
NOT!
Ok, so how bout this... Sheesh, here we go! I'm one of those people that can't just leave a post on a sour note. So, the other day I was reading the Book of Mormon and came across a verse that really speaks to my current predicament,
"[They] did rejoice exceedingly...that the Lord had granted unto them according to their prayers and that he had also verified his word unto them in every particular." (Alma 25:17)
Reading that was a taste of spiritual deja vu for me. Of coarse he will verify his word unto me in every particular. He always does. What am I so worried about? That a perfect Father in Heaven who is all knowing and loves me more than the whole capacity of my heart will ever comprehend has created a plan for me that I won't like?
HA! Yeah right, Lindsay!
Has there ever been a plan of our Heavenly Father's that hasn't been perfect and miraculous? The creation of the Universe, the Plan of Salvation, the scriptures and, not to mention our everyday lives, are full of examples of his beautiful and glorious works!
One of my favorite "pick me up" songs is called "My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee." Part of it quotes the scriptures when it says,
Now, that is a humbling statement. It goes on to say,
I know that everything will be great...in fact, if I keep doing my best, everything that Heavenly Father has in store for me will blow my so-called "big plans" out of the water.
I learned a new word on sunday,
Certitude:
greater certainty than circumstances warrant.
So, despite the current circumstances,
I know with absolute certitude that everything will work out for the best.
Behold, my adorable n&ns and their unique and individual talents! This is the video we put together for our annual Bear Lake family talent show. If nothing else, it was just a rewarding experience to be with each of them and see them shine in their own adorable ways. They literally beamed with pride at their accomplishments and I'm excited for them to have this video to look back on for years to come. I am one very blessed aunt, I'll tell you what.
I went to the dentist this morning
I had my very FIRST cavities (2)
Techinally, I should be proud of myself
Going 22 years without a single cavity
Well, there was the one in the tooth that they pulled for braces.
Phew! A narrow escape.
So, this morning I had them drilled and filled
And now I’m suffering from what I like to call:
1st Cavity-Haver’s Remorse
I’m so sorry, poor teeth.
If only I had brushed you better. More often.
blah.
Nothing like the smell of drilling bone in the morning, eh?
Ew. Gag.
Never again, I tell you.
NEVAH!
Yes, I'm weird.
I blame the Novocain.
Now if I can go the rest of the day without accidentally biting my numb tongue,
I'll be happy
...ish.
That’s what I am...
in college...
I mean, obviously I knew that already, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks... That's what they call you when you're almost done with school. This might be too soon to tell, but I think I'm really going to miss school once I graduate. Then again, maybe I'm just saying that because I happen to miss it right now.
If you had told me right out of high school that I'd be THIS CLOSE to a career I probably would've...well, frowned actually. I've never wanted a career. I still don't. It's not really something I've ever known. Call it whatever you want, anti-feminist or what-have-you, but I've always known a woman's place to be in the home, rearing a family, etc. My mom raised 8 of the greatest people I know. There is nothing pathetic about the grueling 24/7 occupation known as Motherhood.
I guess that kind of life isn't for everyone, but I've known since the age of 2 that it was what I wanted to be most when I grew up. It still is. It will come in time.
Now, as I stand at the threshold of this uncharted world of pencil skirts and briefcases, I find a completely different part of myself...excited. I think there is something within every human being that enjoys the thrill of "The Unknown," whether secretly or not. Stepping into the darkness is one sure way to find out what you're really made of. I don't know about you, but I really appreciate opportunities to become better acquainted with myself. It's a useful bit of information to know who you are, wouldn't you say?
So, I don't really know where I was going with this, but that's "The Unknown" for ya.
Gotta love a thrill.
I am HOME for the rest of the summer.
Ahhhh.
Seriously, folks.
I am SO ready to have an unbelievably busy schedule and use my maximum brain power, again… I mean, I guess if I were especially cool I could’ve found ways to do that during the summer holiday…
…but I’m not going to lie, it was nice to be lazy, at least for a little while. It doesn’t take me long, however, to remember that I THRIVE when I’m busy. I like to think that’s human nature.
In other news, my niece is “buzzzzzzzzzzzzzing” (literally) around the house, trying to attract an obnoxious housefly, which she intends for me to smash. She even drew me a picture to make it easier to find.
Gotta go! ;)
