Thursday, February 11, 2010

His & Hers

Since the dawn of time,

Or at least the dawn of the post-everyday-chivalry-&-skirt-wearing days,

The interaction between the He's and She's has been awkward and overly-complicated.

Why is that?

(stop me now if you disagree)

*Disclaimer: The following information was pulled from a randomized poll on Facebook. This information has not been produced as a means of bashing and/or name-calling, therefore, any offense taken upon reading the following statements is purely ridiculous. Please enjoy!

When asked,

"What is it that girls love?"

Guys responded:

"Me, as it were."

"Games, shopping, salads."

"The opportunity to enjoy an extended, uninterrupted night's sleep."

"My special lady friend likes big sloppy kisses."

"Jane Austen. Chocolate. Feeling secure. Kindness. Country music. Boy bands (otherwise there never would be any). Being complimented (but not too much). Flowers. Spirituality. Guys with some muscle. Beautiful locations. Cleanliness. Holding babies. Good smells. Well written words. Working out and looking good. Family. Chick flicks that give the "happy" feeling inside. To be noticed. Guys that take the initiative. Girls nights/girl talk stuff. Cuddling. A good dance partner. Wit. Honesty. Non-awkward situations, but a little mystery when it comes to liking someone . . . the end (even though there is a lot more!)"

"Going shopping. Having Scentsy parties. And squeezing the tube of toothpaste in the middle."

"Not eating all their food. Gray's Anatomy. Pointing out awkward silences."

"Things that promote, in them, the feeling of or actual reciprocation of love and affection. Stronger self-worth and image. And people, places and things that give them something to look forward to in the future."

"Patrick Dempsey. Johnny Depp. Chocolate. Crying. Mini animals. Babies. Our money. Chocolate. Being checked out (although they say they don't). Jeans. Guys who wear v-necks. Pointy-toed shoes. Big plasticky purses. Chocolate. Surprises. The Notebook. Aqua di Gio. Scruff. Veins. Tanning beds. Huge sunglasses. Chocolate. Money, etc. etc. etc."

"Talking about boys. Beautifying themselves. And flirting with boys."

"Anything small (babies, phones, cars). Lip gloss. Lotiony socks. Chick power music (usually power over men — think Beyonce). Biggest Loser. Sheri Dew. Subtlety. Pride and Prejudice. Being the prettiest girl in the room. Compliments. Talking w/o communicating clear plan of action. Feelings. Talking about feelings. Feeling like we don't understand their feelings. Making boys guess what they're thinking. Getting mad when we guess wrong and more mad when we guess right. Withholding information. Stuffed animals. Heels. The latest fashion trends. Slugbugs. Ladybugs. Butterflies. Children. Shaving. Rascal Flatts. Bling. Kissing. Morning sickness. Having babies . . . Anything small. And anticipation."

"Shoes. Clothes. The anticipation of something they don't know (curiosity). Talking. Flowers. Feeling and being treated like they are special."

"Well I do know this one girl that loves all this, and I quote... 'faith, photography, graphic design, writing, singing, consuming cheesecake and all things Italy... training herself to be a morning person, fitness guru, avid reader of great literature, and culinary chef' and dimples. Dimples, too."

"Women love affection. Surprises (especially thoughtful ones with significance). Feeling protected. And decisiveness. However, if we're talking only things monetarily related or Valentine's day giftish, I would say flowers that are arranged using their favorite colors and variety. A playlist of music that reminds you of them. A night doing something where they have the excuse to be dressed up. A dinner at a favorite restaurant. Cooking their favorite dinner for them. And anything chocolate."

"Girls are about as similar to each other as each leaf on a tree (basically saying that they have similarities, but not one is the same), so I will have to generalize my response. I would say, generally, girls love when you do something without being told to. Getting a new outfit. Smelling good. Movies that make you cry. A man that can play music (an instrument or his own vocal chords). Knowing that they are loved. Flowers. Being pampered like a princess. And feeling secure."

. . .

When asked,

"What is it that guys love?"

Girls responded:

"Sports or computers"

"xbox, tv, movies, girls, food, sports, music, and sleep."

"Themselves! Um, I mean . . . meat"

"Video Games. Food. Love. Clean Socks. Food. Sleep. 'Hanging out with the guys'."

"Women. Red Meat. Funny movies. And stupid jokes. ha ha"

"Sports. Meat. And sleeping."

"Food. Girls. And anything or any place where they can demonstrate their strengths (i.e. sports, broken things they can fix, camping, the gym, etc.)."

"Playing hard to get. Being heroic. Brotherhood. Food. Being athletic whenever possible and getting as dirty as possible in the process. Providing security and protection. Relaxing. Demonstrating their skills. Reading the newspaper on the john and leaving the seat up. Being right. Sweating. Receiving praise for their hard work. Looking good. Thinking they're funny. Knowing what to expect. Thinking that they know how to read girls. Noisy cars. Being spontaneous. Not asking girls for help. Growing facial hair just because they can. The feeling of accomplishment."

"Being right. And solving problems for helpless women who can't solve problems themselves. But mostly, I think they love having someone to take care of, whether they admit it or not."

"Sports. Getting sports highlights/scores on their phones. Winning. The remote control. Food and lots of it."
. . .

I was surprised to see that not as many Girls responded to this poll as Guys. Especially because I polled more Girls (not on purpose) than I did Guys. At any rate, The Guys, went gung ho all over this poll, once again, displaying their love for "demonstrating their skills" and "thinking that they know how to read girls." And, The Girls have proven that we really do enjoy "withholding information." Lovely :)

. . .

In lieu of the upcoming
"Holiday of Love & Chocolate"
(aka Valentine's Day and/or Singles Awareness Day)

I deem it appropriate to write this post,
Purely for the enjoyment and realization that the age-old saying

"Opposites attract"

could not ring more true than in the instance of Guys and Girls.

So, what is it that causes that attraction? I think if I polled every one of you on that question, no response would be exactly the same. Why? Because we are all attracted by different characteristics. Simple as that.

Do you remember in grade school when you learned about mixing colors?

Of course you do.

So, how do you make Purple?
Do you mix Red with more Red?
Or Blue with more Blue?

Of course not. You'll just end up right back where you started, with one color.

Ok, but what happens when you mix Red with Blue?

You get Purple, a brand new color. The magical result of two very different things coming together to make something beautiful. Embroider THAT on your pillow!

The ability of two very different and imperfect people to create something as perfect and heavenly as Love is a divine and beautiful thing, not a mere coincidence.

. . .


Here I am writing little love notes
On the backs of Pixar Valentines for my n&ns,
Listening to "Endless Love," (Glee style)
And thinking about my "Mr Blue."

I can't help thinking that someday Valentine's day will be more to me than just another excuse to drown my singularity in chocolate-covered chick flicks. I don't mean that as a pity-provoking statement, by any means, I'm just excited for something different. You know?

Something that is the opposite of me...

a He.

Until then, I am happy
And forever in love with Life.

This weekend is going to rock my Valentine's socks,
You know, the ones they have in the Target dollar section?

Go create some Purple Lovin'
And enjoy your 3-day weekend of Valentine's-ing!
x o x o


Leon said...

This was great. I didn't have much time to think of anything more clever for the poll. :/ And I really wish I could have made the poetry party tomorrow night. And....after all that bragging....I didn't come up with a poem.... I'll try to get one written someday, maybe post it on the blog. This is entirely too long.

Leon said...

PS - have a happy weekend as well, The Hess.

Lynsey said...

Lindsay, you are just too cute! You are so good at expressing it just the way it is. You really will find the perfect "He" for you. You are amazing!

Jalene said...

haha. that was quite entertaining.
except lincoln is the one that squeezes the toothpast from the middle and it drives me nutso! and we don't even live together yet.

yay for endless love! that's our song and that's one we want you to sing with preston. do you like it?

Brandon said...

I told you this before, but this is pretty good. You know some pretty smart guys, I must say.

tscotriverside said...

Great post Lindsay. I liked the red, blue, purple comparison and the idea that two 'very different and imperfect people' can create something amazing when they come together.

What you're basically saying is that a Ute and Cougar (very different and imperfect) could never be as wonderful as a Wildcat (love) unless they come together, right? Ah, it all comes back to football...from what it sounds like, that's what I love being that I'm a guy. I kid.

Anyway, I really did get enjoy the post and would like to raise a future purple Valentine's Days for everyone. Cheers.

PS I also like the definitions of your made up words along the side. In fact the word for this post is 'answerli' and it almost sounds like something that you would make up. Feel free to modify it slightLY and make it answerLY and then add it to your vast vocabulary.

whatyoutakemefor said...

yesssssss! I made your blog.

my life is probably complete now.

loved this post, p.s.